The vowels are throwing a party and aren't sure if they should invite Y
A’s phone was ringing again and A wasn’t sure about answering. It was certain to be U again, with the same old argument. The ringing was becoming annoying, so with a sigh, A answered the phone.
“A, it’s U.” “Yes,” replied A. “I knew it would be you, U.” “Then you know why I’m calling. I’ve been talking to I and O about inviting Y to our next vowel party.” A said, “U, we have been over this before. My opinion has not changed. Y is not a vowel and cannot come to the party. This is really in Y’s best interests- Y will not have anything in common with the rest of us. Y will be uncomfortable. Do you want to make Y feel out of place? Is that what friends do?”
U seethed inside. I and O were on board with asking Y to the party and E was seriously considering it, but A was as stubborn as ever. “A, listen to me,” said U. “Times are changing and we have to change with them. There was a time when Y would not be considered one of us, but Y is used in so many words as a vowel sound. Think of words like ‘dystopian’ or ‘psychology.’ In fact, Y sounds like two different vowels in the word ‘psychology.’” “That’s exactly my point!” cried A. “Y has it’s own sound. Yellow. Yard. Yo-Yo. Y is being a poser by trying to sound like one of US. Y is not one of us and never will be.”
“A, you are being unreasonable. Y is at the mercy of people, just as we are. It’s those people who use Y as a vowel. You cannot blame Y. I think Y should be celebrated- Y is the only letter that can be both a consonant and a vowel!” U was secretly thinking that A was being elitist. “Think about this, A. You’re the only vowel that is used for marking grades. Getting an ‘A’ is an accomplishment, and over time you’ve let this go to your head. You need to be more accepting.”
Concurrent to this conversation, I and O were talking about the issue with A and Y. “I think part of A’s problem is geography. A has always come first in the alphabet, and Y is practically at the end. A has received special attention just because of positioning.” O leaned back and I picked up the subject. “That’s possible. And don’t forget about that grade thing- every student wants an A.” O asked, “Do you think that A is threatened by Y?” “Why would that be?” replied I. “Well, A may be first and A may represent the best grade, but Y is more versatile and can be used in more ways,” said O. “It sounds plausible,” agreed I.
Meanwhile, E was thinking about the argument going on between A, U, I and O. E did not understand why everyone was making such a fuss. Why can’t we all get along? E didn’t really know how to feel about it all. What makes one vowel better than another? And who decided what was a vowel and what was a consonant? A was being a little snobby about the whole thing and U was trying to force its opinion on A. They were at opposite ends of the opinion spectrum. I and O were being cautiously sensible by not taking it all quite so seriously, or at least they were straddling the opinion fence. E didn’t care who came to the vowel party. E wanted everyone to have fun and get along and would have invited all of the letters. In fact, that was a great idea! E picked up the phone and called U.
“U, it’s E. Why don’t we have a party with all of the letters?” U was silent for a moment and then said, “Because we want to have our own party this time.” “But we always have vowel parties. Why not invite not just Y, but all of the letters?” asked E. “Absolutely not,” said U. “Once we drop our standards, any letter will think they are entitled to come to our parties. Do you want the umlauts to start coming to the parties? After that, the Greek alphabet will insist that they should be invited, and then the Hebrew alphabet, and then the Asian alphabets will come along and really mess things up because they don’t even know the right directions!” E slowly replied, “I see your point. I guess it will be just the five of us again. I’ll make the phone calls.”
A was very pleased that the other letters were being sensible.
E didn’t give it another thought.
I and O knew that they would have to allow Y and the other letters in someday, but not today.
And U decided to avoid the vowel party, and instead went to the library to meet the other letters, and a few other alphabets, too.
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