I’ve often wondered, half in jest, if you could die from lack of sleep. I’m sure insanity would precede death and you might be able to make the case that I have reached the insanity state, because I have not slept well for over a week and I’m beginning to feel it in nearly everything I do.
A couple of weeks ago I had 3 good nights in a row (unheard of for me). I was amazed at the energy, the ability to think and speak, the speed of mental connections after sleeping well. I am equally stunned now at the physical and mental sluggishness that accompany a lack of sleep.
I wear CPAP at night. If I don’t wear it, I feel awful in the morning; tired, crabby, even sick. But it’s not always a great sleeping experience with CPAP. I’ve had it for over 5 years, so I’m accustomed to it, but there are nights where no matter what I do, I can’t get the mask to sit right, or seal right. If I perspire, the silicone mask slides all around. Over-tightening the straps is as bad and under-tightening; but even a mask that fits one day mysteriously changes fit overnight.
I have a little bump on my nose (we’ve always called it the Cirillo bump. The respiratory therapist called it a significant bump. Thanks, buddy) that makes it difficult to seal the mask. Another alternative to a nasal mask is a mask that covers mouth and nose, but the bump is still an issue, and at high pressure, a full face mask will not seal. There are “nasal pillows” which go into your nostrils. Have you ever really looked at your nostrils? They can be rounded or slotted. Rounded works best for nasal pillows. I have slotted nostrils and nasal pillows don’t work for me.
Then there is the headgear. Straps behind and on top of your head, with clips to take the mask on and off. I have a small head and have to use a variety of fasteners and old knee-his to make the headgear small enough to fit me properly. It looks ridiculous.
The masks also have an outflow valve, so in addition to air blowing in your nose, you have air blowing out from your mask. My mask blows the air down, which is very considerate for your sleep partner. My hubby’s mask, unfortunately, blows straight out, at me. If you’re a side sleeper, like me, you have to arrange yourself-mask-tubing to keep the outflow air from blowing into your pillow because that’s really, really loud.
So, if I get the CPAP squared away, I still have to contend with pillow comfort and cats. The pillows are going to do me in one day. I’ve tried soft, hard, contoured, buckwheat, CPAP pillows…. You name it, I’ve tried it. I wake up most days with a sore neck because I can’t get comfy with pillows. The soft pillow is nice but the CPAP mask blows into it and makes noise. The buckwheat pillow is great for non-contact with the mask but sometimes I feel as if I’m sleeping on rocks. One pillow, two pillows, red pillows, blue pillows…not really, but I’ve tried different combinations to no avail. What works one night is miserable the next night.
Then there’s Nicky the cat. She feels it necessary to maintain contact with a human being as much as possible. She also believes that said human being must accept her being wrapped around their feet, and will nip at feet that object and try to push her away. Once we’re deeply asleep she will try to creep up and sleep right between us, like a little kid. If Ken is away on business, she always ends up pillowed next to my head. And she snores.
Other annoyances include being hot, being cold (all within 5 minutes), having to get up to use the bathroom 12 times a night, sweating, drooling (gross, I know) and trying to find my glasses in the middle of the night. Is it any wonder I can’t sleep? I’m getting tired just writing about it!
