Bit the Bullet, Again, Sort Of

Had a doctor's appointment today. He demands I see one them every few months and holds my medications hostage if I don't offer up my co-pay and several tubes of blood.

I've been worried about this appointment because I've been afraid of being diagnosed with diabetes. My dad had it and I've been overweight and flirting with type-2 diabetes for years. It was with much relief that I learned that my A1C, while higher than it should be, is not in diabetes territory yet. My fasting blood sugar is within a few points of the danger zone, and for the first time ever my cholesterol is an issue. No meds, thankfully, but it's time for me to man up and change my eating and exercise habits.

I used to be a jock. In college I swam and jogged. I was thin until I was about 27 years old. My wedding dress was a size 10. I loved to exercise. Then at age 20 I developed two hernias and had to have urgent surgery. Thanks to complications I was unable to exercise for a long time (who ever heard of being allergic to silk? I learned that if you are, and you're stitched up under the skin with silk sutures, your body will do whatever it can to spit them out). It was 18 months before I was given the all clear, and by then I was a senior at Lehigh, carrying 21 credits a semester, with no time or inclination to exercise. After I graduated from college I spent 2 more years in nursing school, year-round, and never got back into an exercise groove. Then came marriage, first job, and in 2 years, first baby. And first weight problem. I gained 50 lbs with baby #1 and although I lost it all, I had 3 more pregnancies (only one went to full term) in a short amount of time. When baby #2 was a few months old I started to feel simply horrible. No energy. Skin dry. Hair dull and dry. And then one night while reading in bed, I felt like I was choking. I looked in the mirror and saw a swelling in my throat and being a good little nurse, immediately assumed I had cancer. It turned out to be hypothyroidism, triggered by all those pregnancy hormones. I have it to this day and doctors like to keep hypothyroid patients at "low normal" which is good for blood pressure and your heart but bad for your metabolism.

And I do have big bones. Really.

Anyway, I have a hard time losing weight, with all those factors. Throw in a bad back, an arthritic ankle, a full-time job and low energy...exercise, while good for me, is the last thing on my to-do list. Yes all of you exercise nuts, I know the mantra. Exercise will give me energy. Exercise will make me feel good. Exercise will boost my metabolism (actually, it won't, thanks to the low normal thing). All exercise does for me these days is cause me pain, and make me sweat. And I hate sweating.

But now I have this lingering fear; I bit the bullet this time, sort of, but I'm dangerously close to diabetes and hypercholesterolemia. Time to watch the diet. And maybe add some exercise.

I want a cookie.